A few Christmases ago, I wanted to buy my friend’s 18 month-old-baby two books as a gift, because I wasn’t in the same city as them, and wanted to be a good auntie from far away.
I don’t have kids so I didn’t know what books to buy, so I started off by asking my friend what her baby likes. Then, I crowdsourced on Facebook, asking parents what they recommended as the best baby books.
Suggestions came in, and instead of just choosing among the titles presented, I searched each of them on Amazon, read the reviews, and looked inside each book.
As I was researching these books, I discovered that I could hear each book being read in its entirety on Youtube, so I listened to all of them. All. Of. Them.
I was also trying to choose ones that may fit what the baby likes (animals) and also what may be fun to read for the parents.
After spending three hours on this, I started to get frustrated that I can’t seem to come to a conclusion of which would be THE BEST books to get him. 😤
Have you ever experienced this? Where you start spinning your wheels on something (even something inconsequential), and you are not able to come to any decision because you are trying to make the BEST decision? 😵
In exasperation, I texted my friend to talk about this, and she said, “Wait, you’ve been spending THREE hours researching books for A BABY? Like a baby who cannot read or even say words on his own yet? ON A FRIDAY NIGHT?” 😨
This was the point that I realized how ridiculous it was for me to be spending SO much time and getting SO stressed over TWO BABY BOOKS. 🤦🏻♀️
This was a wake-up call for me that my perfectionistic tendencies may be getting out of hand.
In the pursuit of trying to find the perfect books and to not waste money on buying the “wrong” ones, I instead wasted my time, energy, and emotional resources on something that really didn’t warrant that much time and intensity.
Part of perfectionism is the belief that there is an "ultimate," "best," or even "perfect" option or solution to ANY situation, and then getting caught up in the rigidity and compulsivity in pursuing this impossible standard when the task doesn’t warrant it.
🤔 Where in your life are you imposing your perfectionistic ways where the task doesn’t warrant it?
Maybe you spend way too much time researching the ultimate restaurant to order take-out from. 🌮 🍜 🍣
Maybe you spend longer in the search of the perfect movie to watch on Netflix vs the actual length of the movie itself. 🎬 🎬 🎬
Maybe you visit every single pet store in the tri-city area in search of the perfect gift for your financial advisor’s new puppy. 🐶 🦴 🎁
If you want to feel less stress in making decisions in life, then you must learn how to quickly recognize which tasks actually warrant a higher standard and more research, and which tasks don’t. 🧐
Sure, put your excessively analytical and thorough mind to use when researching what to look for in a million dollar home that you will live in for the next 10 years or which job offer to accept, but spend waaaay less time researching the perfect book to buy for your friend’s baby, who literally cannot read yet.
Because, let’s be real here, he will probably just be chewing on it anyway.
💡 So the next time you catch yourself going into the spiral of over-researching, over-analyzing, or over-thinking something that doesn't actually need that much diligence from you…
✅ First, give yourself a specific and reasonable cut off time. For example, “I will research a book to buy for my friend’s baby for 1 hour maximum. And by the end of the hour, I will have purchased it.” ⏱
✅ Second, cut yourself off once you’ve reached your time limit! 🙅🏽
✅ Third, pat yourself on the back that you were able to accomplish your goal AND not stress so much about it!