habits

The Taming of the Inner Shrew 🧟‍♀️ : How to Get Shit Done While Feeling More At Ease Without Your Inner Critical Voice

Have you ever felt that, without your inner nagging, critical voice telling you what a fuck up you are, you would never get anything done?

I have! 🙋🏻‍♀️

Backstory: I started doing these 30-min morning walks first thing in the morning because I learned that getting sun in your eyes before 10am is good for melatonin production for sleep. And as someone who, for a period in her life, struggled a lot with lack of sleep and its negative consequences, I have been determined to make sleep a priority. (If you’re curious, check the first comment below for the link to the video I made about this).

Anywho...the other day, I woke up a bit later than usual and, since I had an important meeting later in the day and needed to prep, instead of just getting up and going straight to do my walk, my internal dialogue of resistance started:

“Alright Pylin...time to go do your 30-min walk.”

“Urg, but I don’t feel like it today; and I am already behind because I woke up late.”

Usually, what shows up next for me would be a self-berating, super critical voice.

“But you have to go. You promised yourself you will do this daily. Stop being so lazy. What’s wrong with you? Just fucking go!”

This would normally go on for a while, until I would finally get so frustrated that I would succumb to this internal beating, and go do what I was “supposed” to do.

But I wouldn’t be happy about it. I would feel pressured, stressed, and annoyed.

🤔 Have you ever heard this internal unpleasant, judgmental, and scolding voice “forcing” you to do something you told yourself you had to do? 📢

Why habits fail Part 2/2

Click here to listen to this newsletter as a PODCAST [10:18]

In the last newsletter, we learned 3 reasons why people fail at their habits:

1. They focus too much on motivation.
2. They make the habit too hard for themselves.
3. They don't design their environment.

Today’s newsletter will focus on 3 more factors.

4. They didn’t have a plan B or contingency plan.

Let’s face it, even when you have designed a way to perfectly execute your habits, life happens. What may seem like a minor hiccup can throw your habit formation off balance.

One example is from Noella* (*named changed) who planned to do her 7 minutes of exercise after she has her first cup of coffee in the morning. Seems simple right?

Well, Noella has a 2-year old who wakes up at seemingly random times throughout the week. Sometimes he wakes up a lot after Noella, other time he wakes up right when Noella wakes up, and when this happens, Noella's morning habit routine gets thrown off balance, and she ends up not even doing the 7 minutes of exercise.

A way around this is to have a Plan B in place in case of an obstacle.

Why habits fail Part 1/2

Click here to listen to this newsletter as a PODCAST [13:42]

In the last post, we learned that you only need 3 things for a behaviour to become a habit:

  • Reliable Prompt: something to cue your brain to activate the habit

  • Repetition: without repetition, the brain will not lock in the Prompt (A) —> Behaviour (B) association for a behaviour to become a habit

  • Reward: ensuring your brain has some kind of dopamine boost

If it only takes 3 things for a habit to form, then why do so many people fail at keeping up with their new year resolution to engage in some kind of habit?

Today’s post will focus on 3 factors, and the next post will focus on 3 additional factors.

The unconscious pursuit of excellence

Click here to listen to this newsletter as a PODCAST [13:46]

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
~Aristotle

In the previous newsletters, I’ve written about figuring out what your goals in life are.

  • Some goals are a one-time events, such as buying a house.

  • Other goals are multiple time events, such as qualifying for multiple marathons.

  • Other goals are process goals, such as moving your body daily via walking, running, or some form of exercise.

But one thing these goals all have in common is that they all require some kind of consistency in order to achieve that goal in the first place.

  • You have to consistently save for years in order to have enough down payment for a house.

  • You have to consistently run to qualify for multiple marathons.

  • You have to consistently move your body to, well, move your body daily!

One path to achieving excellences is via consistency in the pursuit of your goals through habits.